Continued from Part 1…. click here to read before this one
The Olympics are a great excuse to watch TV. It only happens once every couple years, it’s on all day, and it makes for great watching. So this year I found myself watching the great Olympic coverage over on CTV and very often found myself looking at our family portrait above the television.
This particular print is large. A good 4 feet wide. So it’s noticeable, but suits the wall size perfectly. It’s also about 12 years old. So I am around 20 in the image. As a family we have had several family photos done since this one. But it is the dominant family photo in the house because it has a significance. The image was photographed by Jigger Schmidt. To most people that name doesn’t mean much, but to many photographers he was one of Canada’s best portrait artists. Unfortunately, he passed away shortly after this image was taken. He was an important influence on my father, and a lot of of other great photographers in our community. Our family photo is a reflection of us, but it is also a reflection of Jigger.
Recently this image has meant a lot more to me. In November my beloved mother Bev passed away suddenly. It wasn’t expected. It wasn’t prepared for. We didn’t get a chance to take another family photo. We didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.
This image has been above the television in their house (our workplace) for approximately 12 years now. 6 months ago it was a family portrait. A reminder of what we looked like a decade ago. Now it is a treasured memory of a family. I look up, and I see my Mom looking happy and beautiful. I see all of us together. I will admit it makes me sad. But it also makes me really happy. My Mom, like many women, didn’t like getting her picture taken. Considering she lived in a family full of photographers there really aren’t too many photos of her (especially in the last few years). She would always cover up, or make a goofy face thinking that it would deter us from taking photos.
After she passed, we gathered up the best photos of her throughout her life and put them into a collection to show everyone. Seeing her grow up and become the amazing person that she was had an incredible effect on me. It made me realize the role we as photographers play in a family’s life. We chronicle moments. We capture instances in people’s lives that reflect that time in their life. But more than that, we help families remember.
I vividly remember my vacation with my mom to China. But looking through the images of our time there, I more than just remember it. I feel it. It brings me back to those moments. I feel the excitement of being in a foreign land. An image of my mom eating deep-fried bugs is entertaining to those that weren’t there. It tells a story. It shows how brave she was. But to me, i feel her laughter and the palpable trepidation she had felt just before. Without this image, I would remember it. But I wouldn’t get that emotional charge from merely remembering it. I wouldn’t remember the pride I had for my Mom to be trying something so out of character.
It’s why we cry when we see pictures. Why we cry during movies that remind us. Or when we hear stories. It isn’t the memory. It’s the emotion’s attached to the memory and the imagery somehow pulls these emotions out from deep within us. Unfortunately, photos of my Mom and I alone are somewhat rare. And this image of the 2 of us on the great wall is something that will be treasured forever. Seeing it I remember her awe, and know the wonder we both felt, and the power of being in such an historic location.
I now realize how important photography is in people’s lives. How important my job is. I am not just taking pretty pictures. Not just making people look good. It may seem like that due to the immediacy of the photos. But down the road sometime, these photos are going to mean a lot more. We have people tell us all the time that they love their wedding photography. That they go through their album over and over and over, and it makes them feel what they felt on their wedding day. Imagine what they are going to feel ten years from now. Or 25 years from now when there first child gets married. That album is worth more than the paper it is printed on. Those images of your first newborn child, bring you back the excitement you felt, and the fear. You can almost feel the fragility of the 6 pounds in your arms.
Stephanie and I are getting married this year. It is going to be a fantastic and wonderful day. Though the absence of my Mom, and my 2 grandparents that have passed in the recent years will be tough. I miss my Mom every single day. I am constantly reminded of her laughter, her smile, and her compassion. I know that with time, the hurt will subside slowly. But I know that I need that hurt. That I need that happiness that comes with the hurt. My life has been filled with amazing moments. Moments of happiness, pure joy, and discovery. But there have been many tragedies in my life as well. And it’s this tragic moments that have led to some of the biggest discoveries and changes in my life. At my Mom’s funeral my good friend Jesh (of the the aforementioned life changing workshops) told me that there are moments in everyone’s life that will be trying. But it is what you take from these experiences that will make the difference. To experience the full gamut of emotions. To completely embrace the pain. To use it to strengthen myself and to use it to step forward. This event, as heartbreaking as it is, will make me a stronger person. A better photographer. A better friend. A better brother. A better son. A better husband. A better Dad. Better. And as much as I wish that this is the last of these events to happen, I know that life is full of them. I will not let them destroy me. But I will never forget them.
As a family we have become stronger. We are missing one of the most important physical elements of what made us a family. But we will always be a family. A family that will continue to grow and support itself. A family that grows stronger as a single entity. Grows closer and tighter with every collective experience.
As a person we are the sum of our experiences. A combination of everything we have ever seen, or felt, or done. A collection of every person we have ever met.
As a photographer we are our perspective.
Every photographer has a unique way of seeing things that is based on who they are, everything they have experienced, and everyone they have ever met. That is why our photography will always be changing. Because we as people are always evolving and growing.
I encourage you to commit to photography. Whether you are a photographer or not.
Hire a professional photographer for the big events and the important milestones. But also take pictures of the everyday things. Carry a camera. It doesn’t have to be a great camera. My iPhone camera has become more important to me than I could have imagined because it means I always have a camera with me.
A self-portrait of us. This image wouldn't exist if we didn't have an iPhone on us.
Record the mundane moments. Capture everything. We have no excuse anymore for not having photos of our lives. Cameras are embedded in everything. So take pictures of your family, your friends, of things you love. And when someone wants to take your picture. Don’t shy away. Be proud of who you are. Embrace who you are. Because you are loved. And those who love you want to have these moments. We all want to hear your story. We want to see and experience your story. We want to be a part of your story.
We all have a story. This is my story.
- Shaun
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